Friday, October 24, 2008

A little of me lost, but a whole lot more gained.....

I got a new phone yesterday and I needed my 14 year old daughter to walk me through it. Now I wouldn't say that I am a technology savvy person, but this was to much! Why was this so alarming to me, after all many a mom has needed help figuring out electronic gadgets. I think it started in August 2005 when I married my hubby and started an amazing journey as a SAHM. In the last 3 years we added 2 more "Moos"(more on that later) to our clan. Before marrying my hubby, I worked at a car dealership. I loved my job and I was good at it. My job in short was to know everything about these technologically filled cars and teach it to the customers and occasionally to a sales person. I was the go-to person, if I didn't know it I figured it out. So here I am 3 years into my SAHM life and I can't manage to work a more complex phone!!! What is that about? Um, I would have to say I have gotten lazy (tired) . I haven't lost the ability to learn, although I do have full blown mommy brain a good portion of the day. But really, why figure it out when my 14 year old can just tell me....
This has been very humbling and I have taken a brief but closer look at myself or rather who I have become. I love being a mommy and of course if you do the math, I was a mommy well before my wedding 3 years ago. I was a single mom and boy was that a journey. I had to grow up, discover who I was, all the while raising a child. It was heartbreaking at times, but it was my life and we survived. As the years (as a single mom) went on I became a person I could appreciate a little more. My job allowed me a little extra income to get my hair done, nails done and buy nicer clothes and make-up. I always felt put together even when I wasn't feeling so put togethr on the inside. This baecame part of my identity, a part of me, and I enjoyed looking nice. So here I am a mom of 3 beautiful and amazing gifts from God and boy have I changed. I never put make up on, I wear sweats and workout clothes ( um, I don't exercise), I can't remember the last time I got my nails done, and well my roots are about an inch. As I type this wondering what it all means I realize that yes, I am not so put together on the outside, but none of that stuff before could come close to the trade off. I may still go put some lipstick on and buy a nice pair of jeans, because after all I need to still look good for my man......but when it is all said and done, and I am sitting here with my son drooling all over my face giving me baby kisses, when my 2 year old daughter wants me to sing to her, and I can pick up my 14 year old from school everyday.......
I may not be dressed to the nines anymore, but my heart sure is...

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Welcome to the blogging world! You will love it. Your family will love being able to keep up to date on you, John and the little ones. Most of all, it is addicting!

I like what you had to say about who you have become since becoming a SAHM to little ones. You could have written it for me!